Maybe this time apart is exactly what we needed to realize that. Look, your ex-boyfriend doesn’t need to know you’re struggling with the recovery process. Therefore, I would suggest to reply back as soon as you’re ready and throw the ball back into his court. If your ex contacted you via a Facebook message or email, he could just want to catch up with you. Until you’re at a point where you can do that, being constructive here won’t be easy at all. You shared so much together and know each other better than most. Concept #1: The Three Time Frames. Most of the time you’ll end up rewriting your message and sending a more constructive reply once those emotions have subsided. Acceptance of your new place in life is mandatory. In my opinion, as a rule of the thumb, it’s always courteous or polite to respond to all correspondence from an ex you are trying to get back with. What to say when ex asks how are you? Just ignore those if he isn’t even trying. When you do send that first text, accept that you may not get a response — or at least not the response you want. How are things going? Just pitched to a new client. First, you’re being polite by responding. Filled with emotions and confusion, breakups can be complicated. Your ex is expecting you to get upset. You’re not agreeing with your ex; you’re taking your power back by ending a fight. Mindset: Sassy and Classy. You can delete it on your phone and try to move on. There is no reason to get bogged down in semantics about what was actually said and how it was said, or the ulterior motives that you don't really have or any of that because it is a waste of time. If you return to your old position, you will experience the rigorous rehiring and resignation process once again. How are you?” (very positive) “Good, thanks, and you?” (positive – this is the most common answer) “Fine, thanks. This is a simple way to test someone's commitment level . Get my best tips on dealing with a breakup with this new guide. [Read: 16 signs your ex wants you back in their life] How to respond to a text from your ex and make them leave you alone. You want a man, not a boy without manners! In that time before you reply to her message, try to figure out exactly what you want from this situation. It’s a polite “how are you” from someone you know from the past. Okay, let’s get down to business here: how to respond to your ex-boyfriend who’s asking how you are doing. Your ex is asking questions about how you are spending your time and/or if you are dating someone else. The longer you wait, the more it takes away time and energy from your recovery. After you send this, you MUST engage in no-contact (preferably for 30+ days). If he doesn’t get a reply from you, it’s either your mad or entirely over him. Well, you already know how I feel about you. Maybe you need to ask your ex something. Let’s take a look at those before I get into how to respond to an ex asking how you are. No matter how inconsequential or trivial the response they will see it as the door being opened for them to take up where they left before. For example, your coworker may have sent you a message saying, “I hope you find time to actually get your reports done today." Therefore, whether you’re interested in the job or not, how you respond can speak volumes. The truth is, if you really want to get him back, you should follow the steps outlined here.. The exact wording here will change on the situation, but the point is you’re communicating openly. If the breakup is still very fresh, you might need more time to … When your ex asks you a personal question. Before you text an ex, try to honor a month-long “no contact rule” first. That’s how you should perceive it: it’s a welcome message from an old friend. 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